Saturday, January 19, 2008

The Keys to Parenting a New Karate Student

I once had my own school where over 70% of it's students were kids, and I was always asked by the parents of new students, "Mr. Sexton, you are so amazing at teaching and all. How often should we have our son practice every week at home?" Keep in mind that the first part was not usually a part of the question, but I've inserted it to add to my credibility (hah!). I would answer with the following:
  1. You shouldn't make your child practice. [At this point, I would have to assist said parent with raising his/her jaw back to a normal position] We shouldn't approach this as if it's football or soccer practice where some parents are more interested in their son/daughter playing/starting/winning than the kid is. Catch this: this is something that your child loves now. If you make him practice, it's not his anymore, it's yours! If you force him to practice, he will resent it.
  2. Instead, ask your child to show off! Instead of saying, "Junior, get over there on the wall like that incredible Mr. Sexton said, and do 500 round kicks off the wall!", say, "Hey Junior, show Mom that cool roundhouse you were doing in class last night. Wow!" In other words, have him or her show their stuff and make sure they know you're proud of it. Make sense?
  3. At some point, your child will have goals that you can help him meet: a belt test, a tournament, a demonstration team tryout. That's the point where you need to ask the advice of your child's instructor, then develop a training plan that the child explicitly agrees to, then follow up. In other words, make sure the training plan is coming from Mr. Instructor, not Mr. Mom, and it has credibility in the eyes of your child, then you can hold him accountable.
  4. Another idea, is to tell him that he's not allowed to practice during the week, if he's a very contrary child, and you can be assured that he will!

Never underestimate what can happen when you show you love your child by making sure he knows you're proud of him. Love never fails.

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